“Love encompasses a wide range of human emotions. The simplicity and intricacy of various meanings plus the complexity of varied human emotions make it too difficult to give the right and most appropriate description of love.”

LOVE, ACTUALLY.
By Lyra Camille Lozendo

Love. What is love? To many, love is unpredictable. It is mysterious, a dimension of unknown proportions and standards. To some, it is a monstrous journey, one that kills the soul, pierces the heart and destroys the mind. Generally, love, as perceived by many, usually pertains to romanticism, to lovers, to candlelit dinners and a serene walk under the glistening moonlight. Not only that, but love is also widely used as a romantic subject of quotes: “Love is patient, love is kind.” “Love is like a rosary, it’s full of mysteries.” “Love is like a gum: at first it is sweet, but later on it loses not only its color but also its flavor.” Those are just some love-centric quotes, to name a few.

Love has many various kinds that revolve around us. Oftentimes, however, we focus and give more importance on the love between two completely unrelated individuals who are romantically involved with each other. We enjoy that kind of love, that kind of love where such cheesy romantic songs whose quotes such as “Can’t stop my heart from calling you” and “Don’t say we are not meant to be” makes us feel giddy and ticklish inside, that kind of love that makes you deaf, makes you unable to speak, makes your mind blank, makes you stiff and paralyzed, makes your cheeks heat up and flush, makes your chest constrict, makes you unable to breath, and that kind of love that pulls and tugs violently at your heartstrings and becomes the death of you.  That is our first perception of love, but there’s more to it than that. Love may be used for good and nice intentions, but love can also be the source of bad outcomes and cruel consequences.

Love is bad when the purity of emotions behind it is tainted and dirtied through cheating, killing, hurting, inflicting pain, and harming others for the sake of ‘love’. No matter how sincere the feeling may be, if its intention is meant to do something malevolent against someone, it is never love, or true love; the feeling and action is simply illusionary. This situation takes advantage of love. Love is used as an illusion to hide the danger, used to shield the negative emotions, used as a fuel to get high with the other mixed emotions, used as an excuse behind the unforgivable mistake. There is no true love in killing for your family. There is no true love in eliminating a loved one’s hindrances to enable his or her success; that is a possessive obsession. There is no true love in sacrificing oneself for the benefits of another’s evil, selfish ambitions. There is no true love in making love with a person you only seek for sexual gratification; that is lustful desire. There is no true love when sins or dirty emotions are involved; such a feeling is only a grave mistake.

Love is pure, mutual, and clean. It is sincere and honest. It is true and heartwarming. Love is beautiful when you use it with and for good, selfless intentions. Love is beautiful when it does not wish harm or pain to befall on others. Love is beautiful when it involves not only the heart, but also the mind, body and soul. Love is beautiful when it sympathizes with others. Love is beautiful when it considers others. Love is beautiful when it overlooks the physical desires and aspects and looks beyond the sexual pleasure and digs deep into the compassionate feelings buried within oneself. Love is beautiful when it gives the other the freedom to grow and nurture his or herself. Love is beautiful when one encourages the other in his or her ambitions and helps him or her in the best way he or she can. Love is beautiful when it teaches one about life’s values. Love is beautiful, as when God sacrificed His only Son to cleanse us from our sins. Love, as beautiful as it is, is a miracle in itself, as it is shared all around by us every time, everyday, every hour, every minute, every second, knowingly or unknowingly.

Love is immensely limitless. It has no barring limitations. It is not limited to loving, sensual actions, not limited to longing stares and thirsty desires, not limited to the sweet pleasure of holding hands, not limited to sweet words and mushy love letters, and not limited to sex and lovers. Love is not limited to scribbling one’s name over and over again on a piece of paper (or on anything you could write on for that matter) nor is it limited to framing a small picture of his or her face with an extravagant, expensive, intricately-designed picture frame and putting it under your pillow for euphoric dreaming. It is not limited to preserving a candy wrapper that once wrapped around a candy your beloved savored, nor is it limited to everlasting paper roses and charming beliefs of a red thread connecting you and your soulmate’s pinky fingers.

Love is waking up everyday and welcoming the new challenges you face ahead of you. Love is being with your family, friends, and loved ones and caring for them, sympathizing with them, and enjoying their company. Love is walking down the streets and giving extra food or pieces of coins to poor, dirty beggars and guiding the elders as they cross the street and opening the door for those who have their hands full. Love is understanding both sides of an argument, being sensitive to others, and respecting others’ capabilities, attributes, and strengths, as well as their weaknesses and flaws. Love is dancing to the beat of your favorite music and singing along to the lines of your favorite song. Love is looking for that missing toy car that your crying little brother lost, mending the tear on your sad little sister’s favorite dress, and doing tiring chores for your fatigued parents despite being lazy. Love is teaching and patiently helping someone learn. Love is forgiving, forgetting, accepting and adapting to the circumstances. Love is recognizing and acknowledging someone, thanking someone for whatever good he or she has done to you, and apologizing when you are at fault. Love is determination to seek and accomplish your goals, to achieve your deserved rewards, and to attain your merited prize. Love is studying hard, sharing notes with fellow classmates who got sick and absented from classes, following the school’s regulations and revering in the teachers’ guide, and praying for others’ safety. Love is holding back oneself when he or she has the great urge to hurt someone in whatever way possible, biting one’s tongue to avoid giving a snappy remark, and not laughing when someone makes an embarrassing mistake. Love is socializing and gaining friends and golden treasures of memories. Love is enjoying life, embracing nature, and enjoying the birds fly, the plants sway, the wind blow, the clouds drift, and life live. Love is enjoying oneself, believing in oneself, and being oneself.

Love is sitting next to each other and getting along, despite some differences. Love is what enables us to go to school and out of the common household everyday and meet new people, and love is the cause of me writing this essay and sharing it with you.

That is, as how I see it in my eyes, love …actually.